My phone buzzes as I get a text from my friend — a selfie of her sobbing, nose red, eyes shiny with tears. She explains she’s devastated because her boyfriend is adamant about not voting in the midterms. I know the feeling.
Seeing that photo, I remembered all the times I begged my partners to become more politically engaged, or at least educate themselves on policies, but their reluctance outweighed my pleading. I noticed this was common among my peers, and it would dilute their own political passion. I wondered: when does disagreement become a deal breaker in romantic relationships?
Couples don’t need to have the same beliefs to be compatible, but they should share the same values. Beliefs are people’s opinions, while values are deeply rooted in one’s identity and ultimately shape our actions.
Statista found that most Americans consider trust, honesty and respect the most important in relationships. But for some, whether political stances are beliefs or values is debatable.
Associate professor of human development and family sciences Marci Gleason explained that students used to rarely rank politics high on their list of relationship values, but now, it’s one of the most common selections.
“The fact that political beliefs are becoming a stronger part of people’s identity that are strongly held and important to them,” Gleason said. “(It’s) becoming a bigger issue in relationship formation and relationship maintenance.”
As college presents an uncertain and transformative time for students’ identities, Gleason notes that students are likely to compromise their identity for their partner. This is why it’s especially important that young women recognize their value in politics and stand firm in their principles. According to the 2023 American Perspectives Survey, political considerations are especially salient for college-educated women and are important deciding factors in pursuing a relationship.
Some may argue that gender isn’t the deciding factor in political disinterest, but according to Daniel A. Cox’s article “Boys Aren’t Growing More Conservative. They’re Just Not That into Politics,” he explains that young women have recently been more affected by political events, like the #MeToo movement and the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Consequently, women have become more politically engaged, while young men are less inclined to have an interest in politics because avoiding these “feminine” actions reaffirms their masculinity.
When political trends bleed into relationships and young men become dismissive of their partners’ political opinions, that may be the time for a relationship reevaluation.
Although political problems in relationships are more prominent amongst women,…
Read More: Is political disagreement a deal-breaker? – The Daily Texan
