I’m 55 and debt-free with a $1M home. My boyfriend owes $100K and wants

When you are deciding whether to get married, your thoughts might center on things like where you and your partner will tie the knot, what you’ll wear, and who is on the guest list.

However, some couples find themselves stuck on decisions about their finances. Financial incompatibility and fights about money can put serious stress on a relationship. But not discussing finances, especially before marriage, can be a major pitfall for couples.

In fact, financial incompatibility is a predictor of divorce. A study from Ramsey Solutions found that money is the number one issue married couples argue about, and the number two predictor of divorce, after infidelity (1).

With so much at stake, couples who don’t have honest conversations about finances before marriage are taking a major risk.

Imagine Debora, who is 55 and has never been married, but is in a happy, long-term relationship. Her partner, Sam, wants to get married, but Debora is worried about his finances: he is $80,000 in debt, $50,000 of which is medical debt, the other $30,000 is high interest credit card debt.

Debora, on the other hand, is debt-free and financially stable. She owns a house that is worth nearly $1 million, has $600,000 in retirement savings, and $200,000 in other investments. She also has an adult daughter from a previous relationship, who she wants to make sure is taken care of financially after she passes.

Debora is concerned about how to keep her finances stable while still marrying the love of her life. She also wants to make sure her daughter inherits all her assets, and is concerned that she will be on the hook for Sam’s debts if they get married.

Here’s what she needs to know about financial compatibility, plus some tips on navigating the tough challenges of combining finances with your partner.

Debora’s concerns about what will happen to her property — and Sam’s debts — after marriage depend on the laws in her state.

In common law states, which covers most of the country, property owned before the marriage is considered separate, and any property acquired during a marriage is not automatically considered to be owned by both parties (2).

In states with community property laws, property and debts acquired during the marriage are owned equally. Property owned before the marriage, as well as debt, are not considered to be owned by both parties (3).

In other words, Debora would not be liable for Sam’s past debts if they got married, whether they live in a community property or common law state.

However, if he racked up new debt while they were married, she could be liable in a community property state, or if she was the co-signer on any loans in a common law state, including if the debt was for joint property or essential goods for the family.

Of course, Debora can protect her assets by entering into a prenuptial agreement. Even in community property states, a prenuptial agreement will often override the…