As we grapple with questions about the future of Jewish life, identity and continuity in the United States, consider this: an estimated 1.4 million Jewish grandparents can have a profound impact on their Jewish family, their children and their grandchildren that is amplified over the generations. As Josh Schalk explained compellingly in eJewishPhilanthropy (“Leveraging intergenerational wisdom in formal Jewish education,” Nov. 21), if you care about the Jewish future, you should invest in grandparents and welcome them into our community’s Jewish engagement efforts.
At the dining-room table, my maternal grandmother would share stories of her immigrant parents seeking a better life and freedom to practice their Judaism. On Shabbat, she’d show her love through brisket and kasha with varnishkes. Her modest kitchen was my first classroom, and though she was not the best cook, I remember fondly the warmth that I felt seated with my sisters and parents around the table, the glowing Shabbat candles at the center. It was there that I learned how to recite the Shabbat blessings and there that I came to understand what it means to belong to something bigger than myself.
The theme of inheriting Jewish identity from grandparents is one I hear often from those recalling stories; for example, how their grandfather gave them coins to put in the tzedakah box each week before Shabbat.
In our own home, we continue that tradition, teaching our children and now our grandchildren, that “giving” is not only a value, but a responsibility. As soon as our grandchildren are able to talk, they tell us “something they did for someone else” as they put a coin in the tzedakah box. The ritual is intentional — a seed planted in the next generation about living a Jewish life. Now that I am a grandparent, I realize that the stories I was told about the past and the rituals I learned were a blueprint for how I was to live my life.
In our fast-paced world, where parents are overextended, the role of grandparents, or those who fill that role, is even more important. Grandparents foster a sense of belonging and many studies have validated the belief that grandparents, especially grandmothers, have much influence on the transmission of religious beliefs, practices and values. Researchers Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush have concluded that children who know their family stories are more resilient, writing that grandparents are the living bridge between generations and play an essential role in telling those stories and “planting roots.’’
Essential to our Jewish holidays is the retelling of stories and the importance of memory. Given that over the last 15 years, 72% of non-Orthodox Jews who married did so outside the faith, according to a 2020 study by the Pew Research Center, it is incumbent upon us as grandparents to develop the tools and…
Read More: The timeless link: Why investing in grandparents secures the Jewish future
